Duct Tape Parenting

A Less Is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Kids

Vicki Hoefle

There’s a new set of 3Rs for our kids—respect, responsibility, and resilience—to better prepare them for life in the real world. Once developed, these skills let kids take charge, and let parents step back, to the benefit of all. Casting hover mothers and helicopter parents aside, Vicki Hoefle encourages a different, counter-intuitive—yet much more effective—approach: for parents to sit on their hands, stay on the sidelines, even if duct tape is required, so that the kids step up. Duct Tape Parenting gives parents a new perspective on what it means to be effective, engaged parents and to enable kids to develop confidence through solving their own problems. This is not a book about the parenting strategy of the day—what the author calls “Post-It Note Parenting”—but rather a relationship-based guide to span all ages and stages of development. Witty, straight-shooting Hoefle addresses frustrated parents everywhere who are ready to raise confident, capable children to go out in the world.

Print | 978-1-937134-18-1 | $19.95
eBook | 978-1-937134-19-8 | $18.99
Enhanced eBook | 978-1-937134-20-4 | $18.99
5.5 x 8.5 paperback | 288 pages
August 21, 2012

  • Mother of five and professional parenting educator Hoefle shares the secrets to her success in dealing with typical behavioral problems in this hard-to-put-down, Adlerian Psychology-based parenting manual...Stay calm, say nothing, have "radical faith" in your children. In other words, the titular duct tape is for the parents, not the kids. Calling attention to problematic behavior, Hoefle says, makes a harmless weed grow into something much worse: a long-term attention-getting scheme, or a deep-seated personality trait. As long as it's not a dangerous behavior or situation, Hoefle suggests that parents ignore it... [This book] clearly comes from the heart and is full of helpful tips.
    Publishers Weekly
  • Parenting books are like diet books: They work for a while and then you're back to blimpdom. Duct Tape Parenting seems like something else – an idea that's workable for the long run, because, at base, it believes in the kids themselves.
    Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog, Free-Range Kids
  • Duct Tape Parenting is for every parent who's grown tired of picking up after the kids, taming sibling squabbles, and doing all the work around the house. In an age of overly involved parents, Vicki Hoefle offers a battle cry of sanity. I read her book in one weekend, immediately put her wisdom to use, and saw results right away. I was stunned. If you want to change the dynamic in your household and nurture self-reliant, thoughtful, and resilient children, read this book.
    Katherine Ozment, contributing editor and weekly columnist for Boston magazine
  • Vicki Hoefle does an amazing job in Duct Tape Parenting of providing relatable, helpful advice. Her approach is unique and extremely thought provoking. This is a must-read for parents who are tired of advice that does not work and need a re-charge for their families.
    Vanessa Van Petten, author, RadicalParenting.com
  • In this gem of a book, Vicki Hoefle gives parents a commonsense approach to raising respectful, responsible and resilient children. Her lighthearted, down to earth manner helps parents clarify their goals for their families, understand the roots of behavior and develop a path to creating a happy, healthy and supportive family life.
    Amy Lew, PhD, author of Raising Kids Who Can
  • The most important family dynamic that we have achieved as a result of Vicki Hoefle’s approach is one of mutual respect. We feel like a team, like four people who can depend upon each other. This book is a must-read for any family who is looking to create a supportive unit built on honesty and trust.
    Katy Smith Abbott, Dean of Students & Assistant Professor of the History of Art and Architecture, Middlebury College
  • An informative and irreverent guide, this book is a must-read for anyone who wants to raise resilient, problem-solving children. Vicki Hoefle offers a Goldilocks way forward: not too much parenting, not too little, just right.
    Craig Idlebrook, writer and parent-educator with the Boot Camp for New Dads Project. www.bootcampfordads.org
  • If you are interested in more positive family relationships and raising capable children who will courageously step into adulthood, take the opportunity to read this book. It is never too late to change your life.
    Cindy Pierce, mother, innkeeper, comic, author of Finding the Doorbell, Sexual Satisfaction for the Long Haul
  • This is a must-read for every parent, parent educator, and teacher. The exercises help you identify the problem and the little reminders tell you exactly what to do (“putting on the duct tape”), when to do, and why to do. As a counselor and educator, I recommend this book wholeheartedly to every parent and any individual who works with children. The ideas are so applicable, that I will use some of them in my classes, even at the graduate level! And as a parent my duct tape is ready…finally.
    Bengu Erguner-Tekinalp, PhD, assistant professor, Counselor Education, Drake University

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